The majority of couples enter their marriage believing that it will last forever. Nevertheless, studies show that about half of married couples end their marriage within 15 years. The reality that divorce happens so often does not mean it is any less hurtful.

The termination of a marriage brings up numerous questions as well as challenges. If a couple is without a prenuptial, they might have difficulty settling their assets. Divorce is even more difficult if they have children. One of the key things that a divorcing couple argue about is the settling of who should get custody or guardianship of the children.

The individuals involved in the divorce may have difficulty starting their lives over and continuing to moving forward all at the same time. When an individual gets married, the other being becomes a key partner of his or her life. That is the reason why countless people end up in a deep depression following a divorce. Couples that are divorcing should contemplate hiring an indianapolis divorce lawyer. Below are several ways that an indianapolis divorce lawyer can assist in making the divorce process less pain-filled.

*No prenuptial, no difficult*. Numerous couples do not have a prenuptial and they argue about the marital assets that they shared in accumulating while married.

*Custody of the children*. One of the main tests of divorce is determining who will receive care of the children. A skilled attorney will assist the parents in deciding the best custody agreement by understanding what is in the child(ren)’s greatest interest.

*Quicker process*. A divorce may be a lengthy and drawn out procedure that could take months. A good divorce attorney can make this process go faster and more easily.

The dissolution of a marriage is complex; a divorce attorney can help lessen the pain of the process.

If you are considering divorce, contact our Indianapolis divorce lawyers for help!

There are many challenges and questions that couples face after they end their marriage. Deciding who gets what can be challenging, especially if there is no pre-nup. Couples who have children have a even more complicated time. In fact, one of the main things that couples fight about is who will get custody of the children.

Picking up the pieces and moving one is another one of the major challenges that the divorcing couple faces. Many people get depressed after they get a divorce because they are losing someone who was a major part of their life. There is no way that the pain of divorce can be undone, but it can be made a little easier. Hiring an Indianapolis divorce lawyer can help you in the following ways:

*Can help you decide who will get custody of the children*. Again, this is a major issue that most couples fight about. A lawyer takes into account the child(ren’s) best interest and helps decide the best arrangement.

*Make the process of divorce go quicker.* A divorce can take months. A lawyer can help expedite this process and make it go more smoothly.

The ending of a marriage is complicated because there is so much that the splitting couple has to decide on. A divorce is painful, but one does not have to go through it alone. That is why people should consider hiring a divorce lawyer. A divorce attorney can help th process go smoother for everyone who is involved.

When finding a divorce lawyer, you should look for one who is dedicated and is willing to provide the best possible client service. In a divorce case you will have to face complex litigation in family matters so your lawyer should be equipped to respond effectively to your questions and concerns and should have family law focus and experience. You also need to make sure that the lawyer has a proven record of dealing complex areas such as:

• Sizable-asset divorce negotiations and litigation
• ADR alternatives to litigation
• Professional practice and business valuation
• Resolution of sensitive child custody, parenting time and child support issues, including defending or contesting custody evaluations
• Issues surrounding parental relocation
• Interstate custody disputes
• Litigation over the validity and enforceability of prenuptial agreements
• Paternity matters for professionals and business people
• Counsel and representation on domestic partnerships

Financial Issues

Apart from these, you also need to think about financial areas when filing for divorce. Your attorney will help you reach a financial settlement and will handle all the complex financial decisions for you. Your divorce lawyer will start planning your cash flow and budget and see if the incomes can be set up for two households.

The next thing to consider in the financial area is how the debts will be paid. Your lawyer will also tell you to reduce debts and not to add onto your credit card debts. You will also need to get rid of any credit cards and debt in joint name. This is also not the time to make home improvements, so you should reduce expenses to the minimum.

Next, you need to know what your assets are and where you stand. This will include assets, investments, retirement plans, pensions etc. as they will directly affect the lifestyle you lead after divorce. If you need to make adjustments in your lifestyle, or how many years you will need to work, you need to know this information as soon as possible.

Once you discuss all these issues with your lawyer, then you are in a position to get a divorce. However, at this point, you have to know that simply calculating your assets and discussing everything with your lawyer will not be enough. There is an emotional aspect to divorce as well and you will be emotionally months ahead of your spouse and kids after all this planning. Whatever decision you take, make sure you respect the emotions of your spouse and children.

Author Bio

Richard Jacobs is a chief editor since early 2007, and he currently works for MyDUIattorney. A website that helps you to find the right DUI lawyer, you can search for a Florida DWI Lawyer or for Orlando DUI Lawyer online, anytime!

Here it is to be noted that courts do not have any authority over non-marital property. So, first of all, the respective court on your state has to determine whether or not it has authority over property. Usually any property acquired by either you or your spouse before your marriage is considered as non-marital property. Again, any property acquired by either you or your spouse after your marriage comes under marriage or marital property. Property that comes under marriage property must be equitably divided between you and your spouse under the direction of the court.

There are some properties acquired after marriage, that do not do not come under the category of marital property. For instance, property acquired by either of you in the form of legacy, gift or descent, does not come under the division of marital property. Again, property acquired by either of you after a judgment of legal separation or property acquired by you or your spouse through valid agreement of the parties, do not fall under marriage property. However, there are many cases where marital and non-marital properties are combined together. In such cases, separation of two types of properties is very complicated. For example, if you have some money even before your marriage and used up the money in a joint account with your spouse after your marriage, it then becomes very difficult to categorize that property. Same thing happens if you use up your inherited money to purchase a house along with your spouse after your marriage.

The onus to divide the marital and the non-marital property lies upon the respective state court. The court determines the category of the property as well as it is responsible for equitably split the property between you and your spouse. Equitable distribution of property does not imply equal distribution of property between you and your spouse.

However, at the time of equitably distributing the property between you and your spouse, the respective state court has to consider certain things. The court determines the contribution made by each of you to the acquisition, decrease or increase in the value of the marital and non-marital property. The duration of your marriage and the value of the property assigned to each of you are also important considerations that the respective court makes. Apart from these, the custodial needs of children as well as the age, occupation, health, income, marketable skills, estate, liabilities etc of both of you are taken into consideration before splitting the marital property.

Most couples go into their marriage thinking that it will never end. However, studies have shown that approximately half of couples will split up within fifteen years of their marriage. The fact that divorce is so common does not make it any less painful.

The ending of a marriage brings about many questions and challenges. If a couple does not have a prenup, they may have trouble deciding who gets what. Divorce is even more complicated if there are children involved. One of the major things that divorcing couples fight about is who will get custody of the children.

Facing a Divorce? Contact us now to help protect your rights!

At the same time, the people involved in the split may have trouble picking up the pieces of their lives and moving forward. When a person gets married, the other person becomes a major part of his or her life. That is why so many people fall into depression after they get a divorce. Couples who are divorcing should consider hiring an Indianapolis divorce lawyer. Below are some ways that an Indianapolis Divorce lawyer can help make divorce a less painful process for everyone:

*No prenup, no problem*. Many couples do not have a prenup and as a result, they fight about who will get the assets that they both accumulated during the marriage.

*Custody of the children*. One of the major challenges of divorce is deciding who will get custody of the children. A qualified lawyer will help the divorcing parents decide the best custody arrangement by taking into account the child(ren)’s best interest.

*Quicker process*. A divorce can be a long and drawnout process that can take months. A divorce lawyer can help this process go quicker and more smoothly.

The ending of a marriage is complicated, but fortunately divorce lawyer can help this process a lot less painful.

In this process, the lender or the bank takes away the property and try to sell it through auction for high price. You should keep in mind that, this procedure is lengthy and elaborated. Therefore, the lenders rather avoid it and have you continue paying the mortgage payment than going through the routine of auction.

However, sometimes the foreclosure becomes unavoidable and in such a situation you need expert legal help to salvage the circumstances. An experienced  New Orleans mortgage foreclosure lawyer may be able to help you come out of this trouble. The lawyer will work as your financial counselor and evaluate the condition to provide you proper guidance. Moreover, he/she will give you required legal advice. You should make sure to hire someone, who is familiar with the section of law and may be able to negotiate the matter with the lenders to stop the foreclosure altogether.

It is well known that divorce can be an emotionally taxing time but experts believe that the idea should be to move ahead peacefully with personal life and try to build a new separate identity. Spouses should also look towards giving their children minimum discomfort.

If you are living in Indiana, you will be helped by an Indiana divorce lawyer in meeting out the travails of the time perfectly. Divorce is an integral part of family law. A divorce attorney is good enough to fight cases pertaining to any aspect of family law yet he chooses to specialize on one particular facet. This means that an Indiana divorce lawyer generally works in the niche “divorce cases” and is a specialist.

He understands the emotional side of things perfectly and offers a personal touch. Apart from being a lawyer who fights the case for you, he is also a consultant who tries to talk you out of the crisis. No spouse wants to drag a divorce battle to the courtroom. The central idea is to fetch an out of court settlement without the acrimony of a court battle.

A divorce attorney in Indiana is perfectly blessed in this facet. He tends to find the best bargain for his clients and do so in a sweet and candid way. He knows that out of court settlements are less costly and with some effort it can bring about a mutual consensus.

A well-established lawyer who knows his job also gives a lot of significance to related aspects of child custody, visitation rights and spousal rights. He understands that apart from divorce, these facets need to be dealt with precisely too. Most of the times, he would recommend someone who specializes over the niches.

At times, with your sincere persuasion, he can take up all the cases for you. His idea then would be to secure child custody for you, keep visitation rights to the minimum extent and draw out the healthiest spousal support amount each month for you. It is important to reiterate that an Indiana divorce lawyer tries to perform all such duties with minimum legal fuss and a smart personal touch once again.

In many instances, an Indiana family law lawyers will work much like a mediator in disputes, with the intention of resolving conflicts outside of the courts through other forms of legally binding agreements. In the event a family dispute cannot be resolved, our Indiana family law lawyers are more than experienced in representing the interests of clients in the court of law as well.

Do you or your loved ones feel the intervention of an Indiana family law lawyers is necessary to resolve disputes? Contact us, today for legal counsel regarding all family law concerns.

An immeasurable number of issues may come up over the course of an individual’s life that may require some form of legally binding agreements. The decision to use our Indiana family law lawyer is a very prudent decision in almost all situations, regardless of the current status of the relationship between two parties. Each situation presented to our Indiana family law lawyers presents very exclusive, and oftentimes altering, circumstances that must be dealt with. Some of the more common family-related law topics that a family law lawyers may counsel clientele over include:

• Divorce proceedings
• Child custody and child support arrangements
• Alimony or spousal support agreements
• Division of assets cases
• Adoption proceedings
• Marriage and domestic partnerships
• Immigration issues
• Domestic violence charges and allegations
• Estate, wills, and trust law
• Prenuptial agreements
• Paternity disputes

Most families will face one or more of the aforementioned issues at some point during their lives. In many cases, a family law lawyer will simply provide the necessary legally binding documents and notarization necessary to validate the pre-arranged agreements between family members. In other instances, disputes between family members, or divorcing parents, may require legal intervention that allows for the protection and care of dependents to be established firmly and within the scope of Indiana family law. In all instances, our Indiana family law lawyers are available to counsel and protect the best interests of our clients, as well as their loved ones and dependents.

Contact our Indiana Family Law Lawyer to get answers regarding your legal case!

Domestic Violence often causes the need for a divorce, to understand your option better contact us now!

The short version is that a battery committed against one’s spouse, live-in cohabitant, or other like relation, is a class A misdemeanor. The same offense, if committed in the same way, and with the same result, would be a B misdemeanor if the victim were not such class of person. The “domestic” label also extends to persons who are divorced from each other or who have previously lived together “as if a spouse” of the accused, and to all persons who have borne a child together. And the whole thing turns into a class D felony if the defendant has previously been convicted of striking the same person. So, as we will see in the section on sentencing, striking—battering— becomes a higher degree of misdemeanor when the object of the striking is such “related” person. And while it may seem an odd result, one should simply accept that this difference has been the result of lawmakers wrestling with a huge epidemic of battered wives, girlfriends, paramours, common law wives, and unwed mothers. Men have nobody to blame but themselves for this strange result.

What is important to understand here is that, in addition to facing charges for this unconsented to and unprivileged touching, posting bond and hiring a lawyer, the defendant in such case can expect to be banned from his residence if the victim lives there too and can be guaranteed to be the target of an ironclad restraining order. And any breach of that order will be cause for revocation of bond and an extended stay in the local jail until the case is concluded.

If you or a loved one has been involved in a divorce, contact one of our Indiana Divorce Lawyers now!

Division of Property.
We view Indiana marriages as producing a “common pot” of marital assets, which include, presumptively, everything they possess on the date they first separate from each other. The statute establishes a presumption that the parties will evenly divide their assets, after taking into account any liabilities (debts) that exist at the time of division. In the vast majority of cases, this will mean just what it says—each side will get about half the property of the marriage, after allowance for debt accumulated during the time the parties were married and living together. There are a large number of exceptions and other wrinkles in this body of law, but what we provide here are the general rules under the statute and case law that govern the area. Having established this presumption of equal division of property, the statute then sets out a number of criteria that are to be applied by the courts in deciding whether or not to deviate from this presumption. They are as follows:

Contribution by each spouse, regardless of whether the contribution was “income-producing;”
The extent to which property was acquired by either spouse before the marriage or by inheritance or gift;
The economic circumstance of either spouse at the time of division, including in that determination the needs of a spouse with custody of minor children to have possession of the marital residence;
The ways in which either party has disposed of or dissipated marital assets during the marriage;
Earnings and earning abilities of each party.

As you can see, this list of factors can cut both ways—often at the same time. And it is this list of exceptions to the presumption of equal division that typically keeps the courts resting in the safe harbor of that presumption. The Court of Appeals doesn’t like much deviation, unless the evidence is strong in support of it, so expect the courts to carve things down the middle most of the time. The issues that can be most significant to the court in deviating from an even split typically include big differences in the income potential of the parties and evidence of marital misconduct that has cost the estate significantly.

We represented a wife whose husband had had a long-term girlfriend on whom he had expended thousands of marital dollars without his wife’s knowledge or consent. Thew guy even admitted to the judge that he had done so, and the court was quick to exact a price for that misconduct. Basically, the court simply called what he had wasted on his true love part of his portion of the estate, and our client got the rest. Anyone who has done this can expect to suffer the court’s wrath when it comes time to make a division. To the contrary, however, in cases where the marriage has been short, the contributions much greater by one side than the other, expect the bigger contributor to be recognized as such. Note that there is built into this whole statutory scheme a method of recognizing the contributions of those who manage and keep a home and raise kids. In long marriages, with kids born and raised and wealth accumulated, expect that mom’s worst day in court is the old 50/50 presumption. My old friend Jim Buck, the guy who pretty much broke me into this business in the first place and a superb advocate in this difficult area, once told me that, the bigger the estate, the less the likely the court will be to deviate very much from the presumed even division. The lawyer will have to examine all these factors to give you good advice here. See our discussion below on choosing a divorce attorney.

Spousal Maintenance.
This area is sticky, and the courts dislike it with just cause. The idea of keeping people financially connected to each other beyond child support is inconsistent with the whole concept of divorce, and the courts require serious proof of a real and provably disabling condition before saddling one of the parties with financial responsibility for the other after the marriage is dissolved. Maintenance for a spouse after the divorce has been concluded can be awarded by the court where that spouse has demonstrated a real inability to provide for his or her own care in the future. Those maintenance payments are deductible to the payer and taxable to the recipient, and they do not constitute a part of the division of the property of the marriage. They are in addition to it. Cases where a spouse actually gets this kind of award are uncommon; I’ve been at this business for 28 years, and I’ve only been involved in a small handful of cases where the issue was serious enough to take up the court’s time. Moreover, if the parties have significant assets, judges are unlikely to want to hit one side with additional responsibilities where the party seeking maintenance will recover a sizable estate upon division of property anyway. One rule of thumb here might be that the bigger the net estate share going to the disabled party, the less likely the court will be to consider maintenance very seriously. Suffice it to say that the party seeking such assistance needs to have a strong case for it, complete with medical support that is specific and compelling and a lawyer who is competent to make the case well in court.

Child Custody.
What a mess. In 28 years I have been involved in hundreds of cases where arguments over who would get the kids have been a part of the fabric of the proceeding. Of those, we have actually tried fewer than 50 as actual contested cases where custody was actually litigated. The ones where one parent was a drunk, an addict, and a crook or just plain no good have been easy, and trying them was seldom necessary. In the rest of the cases, the real problem has seldom been what the statute declares as the main idea, that of the “best interests of the children.” More often the parties make hockey pucks out of the kids because of their own issues, their own confusion at such difficult times, and often just their own bitter animus toward their estranged spouse.

Let me digress here for just a moment and tell those reading these pages that they need to be aware of the process into which they have been dropped. What began in passion and romance has turned sour and hateful, and the profound sense of failure that accompanies the whole thing is most debilitating. Whether or not admitted or even consciously recognized at the time an action for divorce is commenced, everyone lives with a keen and painful sense of that failure. Because of this, plus all the sadness, anger and grief attendant to the events, there is a certain rhythm or cadence that will appear almost invariably. Even in the most clear-cut cases, people get silly and avoid obvious and rational solutions to their problems. When no one really doubts where the kids should be, they’ll fight over it for a while anyway, avoiding the obvious right answer, sometimes for many months, before finally finishing things appropriately. Call it some kind of emotional or psychological convalescence or just a well-deserved but attenuated tantrum, but it has to pass, no matter how it is labeled. But be clear on this: the sooner the parties can put the past into perspective and set aside their venom toward each other, the sooner the case will end and life can begin anew. AND THE KIDS WILL IN NO EVENT BEGIN TO HEAL FROM THE WOUNDS THEY HAVE SUFFERED UNTIL THAT MARITAL WARFARE IS FINISHED. One of the best Indiana practitioners in this area, Bruce Pennamped, has often asked clients in the throes of this mess whether or not they wanted to decide what would happen to their kids and property or if they would prefer to have some stranger do it for them. Good question, Bruce, for that is what happens with those who refuse to deal with their own divorce issues. Growing up is hard to do, but the adults are ones who must lead the way.

As we will also see in the area of computation of child support, custody/visitation issues are becoming more and more the subject of guidelines promulgated by the Indiana Supreme Court. For many years each county has had a set of guidelines addressing issues of parental visitation with minor children, and although there were variations between counties, most of their provisions were similar. Recently, the courts have adopted a statewide set of “Parenting Time Guidelines,” a framework in which to provide some consistency throughout the state. And although these guidelines do not specifically deal with custody, they are liberal and broad enough that, once the bench and bar get accustomed to the new vocabulary, I think those new things will promote earlier and fairer resolution in many cases. When the old “who gets the kids” bright line gets more blurred, so that neither side is typically faced with “giving up the kids” to the other, egos and emotions will play a lesser role in the whole thing. However, there are a few truisms about this messy area that might be of use here:

Moms still get primary physical custody of kids more often than not; especially where they are small and the mom has been the primary caregiver before the divorce was filed. My own lawyer, Doug Church, calls this the “biological imperative,” and that’s pretty close. Dads who want to challenge that one need to have a strong case for rebutting the traditional view.

Dads who have not been involved seriously in their kids’ lives before the divorce is filed cannot expect to get custody awards. Disneyland dads don’t impress judges.

Anyone who has demonstrated emotional or psychological traits that might be dangerous or undesirable for the kids to deal with can expect to lose the custody battle. This goes for moms as well as dads, and just like in kindergarten it’s still best to keep you hands—and your big mouth—to yourself.

Kids typically go with the house. This is not hard and fast, and there are frequent exceptions to it, but there is something attractive about minimizing the disruption of the kids’ lives by the family breakup. Of course, where the house is too much for either spouse to maintain and pay for after the divorce is final, this does not apply, but expect the court to do what it can to keep these disruptions to a reasonable minimum.
Exposing children, during the time the case is pending, to new romantic interests, is bad policy. Period. Not only is it confusing and disheartening to them, judges don’t like it. Moreover, case law in Indiana tells us that “cohabitation” with a romantic interest outside of marriage (we used to call that shacking up) may be cause for limiting visitation or even changing custody. Sounds old fashioned, but the courts still frown on exposing the kids to that kind of conduct. This is not to say a court will so rule, but the case law tells us that a court that makes a determination that exposure to cohabitation is not in the kids’ best interest will not be likely to get reversed on appeal.

Unless one of the parties is really bad news where the kids are concerned, it’s stupid to fight over custody. The law requires that the “non-primary” custodian of the children must be the first-choice sitter, that they get half the summer and every other holiday, in addition to regular weeknight and weekend time. With that kind of presumed result after most fights, the idea of spending thousands of dollars on lawyers and so-called custody experts is truly a fool’s errand. For example, where the “non-primary custodian” has every other weekend from Friday evening through Sunday evening, dinner one night a week, and half the summer, that parent will see the children about 130 to 140 days a year, or just under half the days. Add to that spring break, fall break, Christmas/New Years break, alternating holidays and birthdays, and the number of days becomes very equal, even though not all those days include overnight stays. Work it out yourself. Recently the estranged husband of one of my clients became fixated on “having equal time” with the kids. His guilt over his extra-marital escapades, in my view, was the primary motivation for all this newfound passion, but he was stuck on it. Even the math I mentioned above was unable to convince him, and his children suffered terribly while he continued to make the world, his wife, and even me, the enemy, before finally discovering that he needed to think of the kids first.

Most psychologists who do evaluation work for the courts are no better at figuring out the answers than a judge would be without their input. With a few notable exceptions, these people end up dividing the baby, hedging their bets in favor of the middle of the road, and leaving the parties no closer to a conclusion than they were before the process began. This kind of report can cost as much as five to six thousand dollars—money the parties have to pay out of the marital pot. Recently my experience has been that the evaluator appeared to agree with everyone, failing to separate the rat droppings from the black pepper, and the report was a pure study in tepidness. So just remember, it’s expensive, time-consuming, frustrating, and often productive of no more insight than you should have brought to the table yourself.

“Getting even,” or other such juvenile attitudes, is best left in junior high. It’s not moral, it’s not honest, and it doesn’t work. My associate attempted to get a case mediated recently, and opposing client was so full of vengeance and rage, so consumed with self and hatred for the other side, that the whole thing was an exercise in futility. It cost them over a thousand dollars in fees and mediation costs, and the mediator finally threw in the towel after declaring that angry party impossible to reason with. And where that behavior is centered on custody/visitation issues, you can make book that that same poison pervades the household and batters the children constantly.
Remember the kids, because they pay most of the bills. You may write checks, give up property, even agree to pick up contested debt, but they pay the real currency in human terms. So recognize that fact quickly and come to a conclusion that takes them out of the arena. Besides, whatever you finally agree on, it will change over time. They grow up, get drivers’ licenses, and eventually go off to school, so nothing is forever anyway.

One last thing on custody. Under Indiana law, after the age of 14 the desires of the child become very important. The statute lists a number of points that will be relevant, and that includes “the wishes of the child, with more consideration given to the child’s wishes if the child is at least 14 years of age.” This leads us back to the common sense conclusion. With older kids and two reasonably good parents, there is no reason to battle over the fine print on a custody/parenting time deal. The sooner we grow up and come to an ordered conclusion the sooner we stop spending money and punishing the kids for our failures. Think about it.

Child Support.
This is, with few exceptions, now an arithmetic exercise in Indiana. A state guideline determines the amount to be paid, takes into account shared custody arrangements, split custody, college, and special needs. The guidelines determine, based upon pretty extensive research, a figure that should be appropriate for the given number of kids, at every income level from poverty to great wealth. The incomes of both sides are added together, then that number is used to find a gross support figure on the chart. If that number is $100, then the worksheet applies the percentage of income contributed by each side to that figure, and the result is support to be paid by that parent who is “non-primary” under the custody arrangement. Where parenting time is pretty even, the court will include that in this calculation. There are provisions for taking into account who provides medical coverage, how the parties are to divide uninsured expenses, what to do during the summer and at other times when the kids are with that parent for extended periods, and how to handle college. Again, I am continually amazed at parents, particularly fathers who can afford to do it, that there is so much argument over caring for one’s own children. Moms must expect, if they are working at all, to contribute to college on the same ratio of payment as is used to calculate support, and dads have to expect to pay a portion of uninsured medical expenses whether or not they provide insurance. More detail here will just confuse things, but expect to pay your proportionate share of the costs of raising and educating your children, and expect the calculation of those contributions to be pretty cut and dried.

Modification.
The whole idea of getting divorced is to have things finished, and the decree that a court enters at the end of the proceeding is intended in large measure to do just that. The marriage is dissolved, the property divided, former names restored if requested, and fees ordered paid. Those features of the decree are essentially set in stone, not to be revisited except in rare circumstances. But child custody, support, and post-decree spousal maintenance are specifically exempt from that list, as the court retains what is called “continuing jurisdiction” over the parties for those purposes. So when mom claims that the support has become insufficient in light of increased expenses and increases in dad’s income, she can “go back to court” to seek an increase. Likewise, where one side believes that the existing custody arrangement has ceased to be in the children’s best interests, the court will hear evidence and make a determination about requests for a change there, too. The same holds true where spousal maintenance has been ordered; the court addresses both the amount and the actual continuation of payments. In all cases where either side thinks changes should be made, the courts can be expected to rely on experts very heavily, particularly in matters dealing with custody. It is a heavy burden to bear getting a court to change a status quo, so having strong evidence and competent counsel experienced in such matters is crucial. The best thing to do here is to work very hard at resolving the matter without going back at all. Custody changes are more often than not related more to the changes in the kids as they grow up, and again, the older the kids get the more their wishes weigh in the decision. Before I swore off ever doing another one, I tried custody cases over everything from parental drug abuse to abandonment to parents who decided to move their true love in with the kids—but without benefit of a marriage license. The court had no trouble granting Dad custody in the case where he kept finding the kids on the street corner after Mom had gone off to score some heroine. There was no trouble getting another father custody when Mom moved the fourth boyfriend in six months into the apartment with their eleven year old daughter, and things were pretty easy as well when another mom simply took off for sunny California to reunite with her high school flame. However, scores of other cases were less clear, and the expense and misery factors were huge every time.